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carolsartain
Nov 10, 20204 min read
How to be a Neurotic Jewish Mother, Part 2: Neurosis
In Part 1, we examined the art of cultivating guilt, a necessary ingredient for the NJM. However, before we proceed with Part 2, I would...
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carolsartain
Nov 3, 20205 min read
How to be a Neurotic Jewish Mother, Part 1: Guilt
In dealing with parents, specifically mothers, you often have to either laugh or be upset, and frankly, being upset is bad for the...
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carolsartain
Oct 27, 20206 min read
What Day Is It?
A few Saturdays ago I had a delightfully productive and social day. I started by chatting with a sister-in-law, segued into doing four...
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carolsartain
Oct 13, 20206 min read
Farewell, So Long, Auf…
On a recent Friday, I realized it was time for me to make a decision about downsizing or staying put. The next day, during a phone chat...
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carolsartain
Oct 7, 20208 min read
Where's the Bible?
What prompted a lost-lost memory of a bizarre afternoon wedding to float up from the depths of my deranged memory file system? It was a...
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carolsartain
Sep 29, 20207 min read
An Artist's Life
I used to live a clerk’s life. More specifically a married female sales representative raising two children in the same house as a...
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carolsartain
Sep 22, 20205 min read
Hannibal Had a Hunch
If you’ve read my treatise “Claudius and the Camels,” you will recall he brought elephants with him when he sailed to Britain to conquer...
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carolsartain
Sep 15, 20205 min read
Packing, or Box Stomping in Virginia
When I tell you stories about packing, you should keep in mind I’m not talking about carrying a pistol. I have been discouraged from that...
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carolsartain
Sep 8, 20206 min read
The Avocado Tree
There’s an avocado tree in my neighbor’s yard that covers half of my roof. Every few years someone will cut off its branches at my...
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carolsartain
Sep 1, 20206 min read
Thinking and Talking
A husband and wife duo and I were “social distancing” a few weeks ago, sitting on my back porch, no closer to one another than ten feet,...
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carolsartain
Aug 25, 20207 min read
A Blanket for My Therapist
For those of you who experience what is now sometimes referred to as SAD, or Social Anxiety Disorder, everything that follows will be...
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carolsartain
Aug 18, 20206 min read
Chicago
Chicago is my kind of town, that is I think it might be. I should know more about Chicago because I’ve been there seven or eight times....
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carolsartain
Aug 11, 20207 min read
Conversations
Life is stranger than fiction, right? Everyone has true stories where someone else says, “You just can’t make this stuff up.” The same...
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carolsartain
Aug 4, 202010 min read
Cleaning Supplies
Tragedy plus time equals comedy, right? It is with all due respect, condolences, and shared sorrows that I apologize in advance for...
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carolsartain
Jul 28, 20207 min read
Claudius and the Camels
It’s long been my contention, ever since one bit my finger, that camels are nothing to snort at. I’ve read that they have longer memories...
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carolsartain
Jul 21, 20204 min read
Very Important Pieces Series: Table Settings
Not all Very Important Pieces are accessories of personal adornment, such as shoes, scarves, or purses. Sometimes a VIP accessory is an...
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carolsartain
Jul 14, 20206 min read
Very Important Pieces Series: Hair
Have you ever in your entire life, even once, heard an American woman past the age of ten utter these words? “I love my hair! It always...
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carolsartain
Jul 7, 20204 min read
Very Important Pieces Series: Jewelry
What can you say about jewelry other than the person who dies with the most diamonds wins? That’s what cartoonist Gary Trudeau had one...
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carolsartain
Jun 30, 20204 min read
Very Important Pieces Series: Watches
Watches are relatively new to the list of non-essential objects that rank in importance far beyond their existent or non-existent...
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carolsartain
Jun 23, 20203 min read
Very Important Pieces Series: Shoes
Although you asked to write my memoirs while I still remember my name, sometimes I just like to write about Things. You know, purses,...
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